Driving should take your full attention, it demands it, you are operating a huge piece of metal that is moving and a vehicle requires you to control it.  Steering, stopping, parking, speeding up or slowing down, putting on directionals and if you don’t know this you are a moron.  Most of us do these driving things without thinking, we do them all the time and don’t really consider what we are doing, so we feel we can add more tasks to the mix.  We should not add more tasks to the mix! Here are 12 things you should not do while you are driving, or as the traffic ticket will say “operating a motor vehicle.”

1. Never talk on the phone without a headset.  Talking on the phone, pull over and talk, give your driving full attention and your conversation full attention by doing them separately!  If you talk on a headset while driving keep it short and remind yourself mentally you are driving, periodically.

2. Eating or drinking, obvious right, I’m not talking about popping a piece of gum or candy in your mouth.  A friend told me today about a guy with a hoagie in one hand and a large soda in the other, and the guy was also on his cell phone, resting it against his head, to boot.  Don’t eat your lunch and drive, pull over.  If driving you can take a sip of water, coffee or tea but keep it in your cup holder rather than hold it.  And, alcohol and driving don’t mix, please don’t drink and drive!

3. Texting, yesterday in the car next to me, this young lady was texting at the light.  She didn’t notice the light turned green till the guy behind her laid on his horn.  Don’t text and drive.

5. I have a friend who shaves with an electric razor in the car.  Bad idea, smart guy too, we all have moron potential!  A friend told me he had seen a guy shaving with a Bic razor while he was driving.  Shave at home or at work where you are safe, and at work you are getting paid, too!  And, no brushing of your teeth in the car!

7. Ladies, your hair and make up look good!  Excuse me, great!  You don’t need to be doing your face and hair, in the car if you are driving.  And, no brushing of your teeth in the car!

8. Listening to music or other stuff on your iPod or MP3 player is no good, come on now, you need to be able to hear what’s going on and listening to headphones or ear buds blocks out all other sound.  Don’t listen to iPods or MP3 players while you drive.

9. Reading the newspaper or a magazine, I’ve seen it done, what is so important that you need to read while you drive?  If you need to read a map pull over!

10. Coaching other drivers on how to drive their cars.  Yelling suggestions to others, maybe some creative hand signaling, getting frustrated and becoming an aggressive driver.  I know it is hard with all the morons out there, hell, I’m sometimes one of them.  But, drive your own car and follow these 12 tips to be safer.

11. Do not try to find that Abba CD in the stack of loose CDs you have in the console of your car while you drive.  No one should have an accident while listening to Dancing Queen.  As a matter of fact, no one should be listening to Abba or Dancing Queen!

12. Sex, never have sex in a car while you are driving, sounds funny, huh!  You want funny, never have sex in a car when you are driving by yourself, or with a partner!  Pull over or get a room!