What Does It Mean to Be Emotionally Mature?
Emotional maturity is when someone can manage their emotions no matter their circumstances.
An emotionally mature individual is one who gives off a sense of “calm amid the storm.” They’re the ones we look to when going through a difficult time because they perform well under stress.
They know how to respond to tough situations and still keep their cool. It’s a skill set they can consistently work on over time.
Furthermore, emotional maturity involves a certain degree of mental flexibility. The way you interpret the occasional failures and misfortunes that everyone encounters throughout life matters greatly. Your perception can amplify or diminish the emotional impact such events can have on your overall sense of happiness and well-being.
For emotionally mature individuals, a failed business or a relationship that has come to an end is part of the journey, not the end of the world. Nobody can stay on a winning streak forever, so it’s vital to handle setbacks with patience and self-compassion.
Here’s a look at key characteristics of an emotionally mature person.
1. Taking responsibility.
People with emotional maturity are aware of their privilege in the world and will try to take steps toward changing their behavior.
This means you don’t blame others (or yourself) when something goes awry.
You possess a spirit of humility — instead of complaining about your circumstances, you become action-oriented. You may ask, “What can I do to improve this situation?”
2. Being Flexible
It’s all too easy to assume things will go according to plan, or that a situation or event will go smoothly because it has each time in the past. When it doesn’t (and that is often a “when” than an “if”, an emotionally mature person is able to think things out and come up with a viable Plan B or even C as needed so that a situation can be dealt with, and still move forward not letting the bump in the road ruin the entire plan.
3. Knowing That They Don’t Know Everything.
An emotionally mature person knows what they don’t know, and also knows that their own way of doing things may not be the only way or even the best way. They don’t argue “just to be right” or to show dominance to be in charge. They keep an open mind and have open ears and eyes to look for situations where they may be able to learn something, as well as know when they may have something positive to contribute to a situation that can help others.
4. They notice and verbalize (with composure) when they’re wrong.
It’s far easier to get defensive and deny responsibility, or become overwhelmed with shame for our act of imperfection or ignorance. Being able to acknowledge when we’re in the wrong takes humility, self-compassion and courage.
5. Being unafraid of vulnerability
You’re always willing to open up and share your own struggles so others feel less alone.
You’re also not interested in being seen as “perfect” all the time.
Emotional maturity means being honest about your feelings and building trust with those around you because you don’t have an agenda.
6. Setting healthy boundaries
Setting healthy boundaries is a form of self-love and respect. You know how and when to define a line and won’t allow others to cross it.
If a colleague belittles or puts you down, you won’t stand for it and will let your voice be heard.
7. They Actively Seek Out Multiple Points of View To Help Inform Their Own
Emotionally mature people actively seek to inform their own opinions by actively seeking out the points of view of others. They don’t feel threatened by disagreement, but look to be informed by people, and aren’t afraid to question both their own convictions, knowing that they don’t exist in a vacuum. It’s not about an argument to prove who is right; it’s about wanting to be informed by different points of view to further clarify their own points of view, or recognizing that perhaps their point of view may even be wrong.
8. They Have a Calm Disposition.
Emotionally mature people do get mad but do not let the emotion dictate their response. They aim to have a clear mind with the goal of having rationality dictate how to effectively deal a situation and also see all of the available options to come to a successful resolution. They know that when emotions override rationality, clearness of thought gets blurred and can limit the options for dealing effectively.
9. They Stay Resilient
In the face of upset, setbacks, or disappointments, an emotionally mature person will acknowledge their feelings, identify what can be done, and then decide what steps to take to move on.
10. They Believe in Themselves
Emotionally mature people don’t have a false sense of self that is ego-based and deluded. But they do have optimism in their own ability to use effort and patience as a way to establish the belief that they are equipped to deal with whatever life may through their way.
