According to Leigh Joy, people who embrace being single radiate a gentle sense of self-acceptance, self-compassion and self-love. She adds that for some, the decision to be single comes from taking time to heal from a break-up, renegotiating what life without that person now looks like, going on adventures, and letting go of old experiences.
“So that they could be free to step up into the next level of who we can be to attract healthier relationships both romantically and platonically,” she says.
5 reasons some women may choose to be single, according to Leigh Joy
1. There are different levels of singledom. You get celibate singles who have no desire to be in a relationship and are happy to be on their own for a period. Then you get singles who are dating. They are not in a committed relationship but are open to meeting people and being romantically and sexually connected with others.
2. There is often a payoff for people wanting to abstain from relationships for a period because their lives become much simpler. They have more time for self-care, friends, their kids, and to develop their careers. A relationship takes up a lot of mental, physical and emotional energy, which a single person can direct into other areas of their lives. So the longer one is happily single, the more chance they are happy not to date.
3. Some people remain single because they do not or will not work on their issues from previous relationships. They attract the same type of person repeatedly because they are not healing. So, people they meet may affirm that it is not safe to date. Whereas, if they had healed, taken accountability for their mistakes and showed up in their lives from that empowered space, they would attract people who would pique their interest to be open to the possibility of a new relationship.
4. Some asexual people just have no desire to connect sexually with another, so they do not need to be in a romantic relationship.
5. Things are changing, and singledom is perceived as a healthier option than staying in an abusive relationship. Single women are a threat to the patriarchal system. An empowered, independent woman makes a toxic man feel unwanted.
Leigh Joy says she advocates for women choosing to be single. In fact, in December, she will be hosting a Singles Party for all single women to celebrate themselves without needing or feeling pressure to be in a relationship.
